Absolute Honesty Isn’t Always The Best Policy

Cooper: Hey TARS, what’s your honesty parameter?

TARS: 90 per cent.

Cooper: 90 per cent?

TARS: Absolute honesty isn’t always the most diplomatic nor the safest form of communication with emotional beings.

Cooper: Okay, 90 per cent it is.

That was said by a robot to a human and I so agree with it. Even they know absolute honesty isn’t always the best policy to go with.

Sometimes, you have to go beyond the limits of truth and cross the line where selfless lies are told. Have you ever been in a situation where your honesty has been challenged? Where your truth has been dominated by hard-to-heart communications? And where being dishonest seem much better?

I guess there were, and will always be, even perhaps in our everyday life. At one time or another, telling lies is more suitable than continuing the path of full disclosure.

The lies must be told if it is safe and if manipulation is necessary to spare someone’s feelings and life.

Scenario – A Delicious Dish By Grandma

Suppose one day, you visited your aged aunt who was once a great cook and had the talent to make delicious dishes for you. But now that talent & heyday has long gone. All that was left is love for you.

She now sometimes gets confused with the ingredients put in and muddles up the recipes. The result is pretty off-putting. This is where you lie to please herself that she is still that talented.

If you try to be honest here, it will threaten the love. But you are telling lies not to protect yourself but to protect the love and dignity of the person.

In another scenario- Even Draco Malfoy had to lie to his parents to save Harry Potter in Deathly Hallows Part 1 despite being the enemy. (the example has been taken as the winters are approaching and we are into the Harry Potter marathon)

So, How Often Do You Lie?

We can’t deny that as humanity evolves, so as our language & facial expressions, and parallel to that, the evolution of deceptive strategy. The term dishonesty has its grip on our everyday behaviour.

Lies and being dishonest are the easiest ways to wrap up the conversation the way we want it to.

Because sometimes it’s better to do that, as far as the lies are more soothing to the ears.

Don’t tell me you haven’t said to your children that fairy tales and the magic world are real. All those fantasies, stories, poems, and peaceful worlds are just human imagination and nothing else. You did because of your child. We all did because we had to.

You lied as a toddler, you lie in school, and you’re also constantly being deceived by the media, self-proclaimed messiahs, and others.

Ironically, everybody thinks they’re honest, yet everybody lies. Telling someone “I don’t lie” is also a lie.

There is also an idea that absolute honesty may be too hard for someone to hear and it would hurt them and can also cost their life.

Though I certainly agree, that honesty is of utmost importance in a healthy relationship. Even though it is also the fact that your absolute honesty might be hurtful or elicit a negative reaction that you would rather not confront in front of your partner. But again, those lies must be for good reason only, not to deceive.

Honesty and truth are often considered one & the same. Being honest is self-regulated with being true to yourself & others. Honesty is all about telling the truth. Interestingly, however, there are some honest lies too.

Not every lie is meant to harm and out of selfishness. Lies can also be told to protect the other’s honour & dignity, as in the case of your aged aunt. It might help to strengthen the relationship even better if told out of love and for the love.

Doesn’t a Genuine Honesty Is Also A Kind of Bullying?

People want you to say what they love to hear, not what you genuinely think. Telling the truth might be considered bullying because you are not staying up to their expectations.

Also, the definition of truth isn’t always the same for all. The truth about honesty is that what is honest for you as an individual is merely a personal truth, it might not resonate with others.

We have different ways of seeing things, so if you communicate your truth in that way, believing you are right, the listeners might not take your words as you intended. And once that happens, you’ll ruin every moment after that, It is the end of a conversation and eventually trust.

What would you say, if your boss asked you- “How hard you’re working?”

And, what would you say, if your partner asks you just before going to the stage- “Am I looking nervous?” Though you notice she is. But to boost her morale you say something different that’ll please her.

This is the art of prioritizing kindness over the truth. One must think before saying anything.

Now come to the real question:

Is absolute honesty the best policy?

I think the best policy is the one that causes the least amount of suffering. In a way, honesty can be the best policy but not always.

I’m not saying that you must tell lies because remember what Harry said- “One must not tell lies“.

Honesty is the best policy. But absolute honesty isn’t always the best and kind of worst. Isn’t it?

This is a bit arguable question, so it’s important to know everybody’s take on it.

What do you think of it? Be honest here.

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