Being A Single Parent Is Not Easy

Single parenting is not always someone’s choice, but in some cases, it is God’s Will. While it is true that it is not in someone’s hands but when it becomes a part of life, it turns out to be a challenge. A challenge to nurture a child alone.

There are so many single parents who work as lone wolves all their life and fight with the outworn system and social stigmas.

As of now, on average around 7% of the population lives a life of single parenthood. The dominance of the mother is 80% compared to the Father which is 20% in the world. The data also signifies the increase in the number of single-parent families.

As of 1980, it stood at 5.9 million of the total population which rose to 320 million in the 21st century. This distinctly shows how swiftly this has expanded.

It sounds disturbing that developed countries like the USA have the highest number of single-parent families around the globe. In the USA 23% of children under the age of 18 live with a single parent. In comparison, a neighboring country like Canada has 15% of single-parenthood households. Also, China with 3%, Nigeria has 4%, and India has 5% of children living with single parenthood families.

Also read:- 320 Million children in single-parent families in the globe.

Raising children alone has not the same financial means, protection, and care, as they are brought up in two-parent families. Consequently, Single parenting faces many difficulties which we will discuss later. Before, let us understand more about single parenting.

What Is Single Parenting Or Single Parent?

Single parent or single parenting means nurturing a child alone. It means parenting a child solely without the presence of another parent to any degree. Anyone from a mother or father can be a single parent. But interestingly the mother’s dominance is more as compared to the father’s. According to recent studies, the reason for the mother as a single parent is custody after divorce or the death of a spouse.

Single Parenting as a Mother:

Nurturing a child as a single mother faces many social stigmas like the judgment of her character, unemployment, self-protection, etc. Also, she has to manage household chores along with taking care of the child. This doesn’t stop here even society often puts a tag on her way of eating, dressing, and meeting with someone.

In one such interview with Brut, a single mother enunciate the challenges faced by her. She said “Every Moment We Die Socially, When We Are Divorced”, Every time our child got embarrassed at school. We are assumed to be not a real family, our life is not smooth sailing“

They are assumed to be easily available, people look after whom is she meeting, eating, also the father’s name becomes important for legal documentation. But Why? Why someone can’t live life happily?

Single Parenting as a Father:

For a longer period of time, single parent means mother raising children but this is cautiously changing. As we can see, men have equal participation in parenting the child solely. There is no doubt that the father has a better financial back as compared to the mother. The reason for this fact is that most mothers seem to do household things and fathers tend to be breadwinners.

But it is also true that men are not far away from the social stigma. For Instance, “Being a man how you will cook? The kitchen doesn’t suit you, Get married again so that someone can take care of your child, etc.” These are some quotations used by society to demoralize a single father.

It becomes difficult for a man to emotionally connect with the child in the absence of a mother. You must have seen the movie Pursuit of Happiness where Chris Gardner manages to pull himself and his young son out of poverty. Will smith as a Chris Gardner nurtures his son alone spending nights in public toilets, and public restrooms but never making his son feel lonely.

We watched Gardner work hard after his wife left him alone, and care tenderly for his son. He set an example that the world’s best mommy is a single Dad.

Reasons Behind Single Parenthood

We noticed that single parenting is increasing gradually. No doubt the ratio of single mothers is much higher than single fathers. But it is very difficult for anyone to face this stage. So let’s find out what can be the possible reasons behind single parenting.

Parental Death

The death of a spouse is the main cause of single parenting. Deaths in accidents, Diseases, wars, etc. that put a serious impact on the life partner. Their lives become barren and full of challenges. As we have seen in the COVID-19 pandemic where lots of families have suffered.

Divorce

Another reason for single parenthood is legal separation from their partner. This is the most common reason for alone nurturing when our thoughts are not matched with our partner. We mutually decided to get separated but it put a serious impact on the child’s mental health.

A child without marriage

This is not common in Asian countries like India but in western countries, we can see many single parents nurturing children without marrying someone. The reason would be adopting a child from an orphanage or unwanted pregnancy.

These reasons rob the joy from the parents of companionship and sharing of obligations. Let’s now discuss some parenting concerns and challenges which single parents mostly face in their life.

Struggles Behind Single Parenting

• Manage Finances:- Economical insecurities are one of the most overbearing responsibilities of a single parent. Managing household things, as well as schooling a child, feels like having a roller coaster ride. Sometimes delaying the desire for a child due to a financial crunch feels heartbreaking. It falls down self-confidence and creates self-doubt.

• Quality time with children:- As a single parent you have to bear a lot of responsibilities like managing finances, society, household things, self-care, social events, etc,. In the rush of all these things, single parenthood left with nothing but spending less quality time with children. It doesn’t cost much until their kids fall into the wrong path like drug addiction, social abuse, Depression, etc.

• Social stigma:- No matter how good you are, or how amazing you are nurturing your child, one thing which always falls you down is a negative view of society. Society put many tags on your way of dressing, meeting, eating, talking many more. As I said above they blame, question, embarrass you, judge the character you play as a single parent, etc.

• Feeling of loneliness:- This is one of the most painful moments when your partner leaves and you are alone in the jungle of Judgemental society, responsibilities, etc. There would be no one to offer a shoulder to lean your head. No one to take care of you when you feel sick, No one to listen when a lot of things juggling inside you.

No Doubt it is emotionally challenging when your partner has to live with the kids. And you have to come back to an abandoned home, this depletes you emotionally.

Wants to Keep Yourself Motivated as a Single Parent? Follow This

These are some ways you can imply as a single parent as told by my Mom as she is also a single parent now-

• Stay away from negative thoughts that make you feel demotivated, whenever you feel alone rather than stuck with old thoughts, look after new things and new opportunities you can pursue yourself and your child.
• Single parenting can be daunting but not impossible to survive, always keep yourself surrounded by positive ones who can listen to you and understand your temperament.
• Keep reading books whenever you feel demotivated and demoralized.
• To find a way from financial instability, save money for the future, or don’t spend on unnecessary things.
• Try not to take the guilt of any situation and don’t take self-blame for whatever in you are. Accept the truth and look positive in your life.

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