Have you ever heard someone say, “Kids these days are so soft?” It’s a phrase that’s been around for generations, and it seems like every new generation gets accused of being coddled and sheltered.
You’ve heard it before—parents, grandparents, or random people on social media talking about how “back in their day,” life was tougher, people were stronger, and failure was a valuable life lesson, not something to be avoided like the plague. So, are we really becoming too soft, or is this just the circle of life repeating itself?
Before I get into it, know that this is a light-hearted exploration of a common generational stereotype. It’s important to remember that every generation has its unique challenges and strengths.
One common argument is that the new generation lacks the survival instinct that our ancestors relied on. Some argue it’s fading fast. There’s a growing sentiment that the competitive spirit is disappearing. Nowadays, in many areas, it seems like everyone’s a winner, no matter the outcome.
And while participation trophies feel nice at the moment, what happens when these kids step into the real world, where failure is a more frequent visitor than success?
Think about it—most entrepreneurs, athletes, and artists have one thing in common: failure. They lost at some point, but instead of shrinking back, they learned, grew, and succeeded. Michael Jordan didn’t become a basketball legend by winning every game.
He famously said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career… and that is why I succeed.” But what if young Jordan had been told, “Hey Mike, it’s okay, we’re all winners here. No need to push yourself”? Maybe the competitive fire would’ve been dimmed.
Nowadays, it seems like kids are being raised in a bubble. They’re encouraged to think that there’s no such thing as failure, that everyone gets a trophy, and that life is basically one big party. But the real world doesn’t work that way. You have to go through setbacks, disappointments, and even heartbreak to become a strong, successful person.
A world where failure doesn’t exist is a world where growth stagnates. We need to realize our own potential, but sometimes that potential is only unlocked by facing hard truths.
It’s undeniable that anxiety rates have been rising among young people. Studies show that Gen Z reports higher levels of anxiety than any previous generation. Some argue that this is, in part, due to a lack of accountability and responsibility. No one wants to admit fault or own up to their mistakes because we’ve created a bubble where blame is avoided at all costs.
But some also point to a culture of coddling and overprotection as contributing factors. When young people aren’t allowed to make mistakes or face consequences, they may struggle to develop the resilience needed to cope with life’s challenges.
Here’s a wild thought: does the average person today understand why humanity exists, how the universe works, or what life is really about? It sounds like a deep, philosophical question (and it is), but it’s also a reflection on how disconnected we’ve become from the fundamentals of life.
We’re more plugged into our screens than we are to reality. The rules of social and political structures shape much of our world, but life’s deeper truths—like the importance of failure, responsibility, and self-discipline—seem to get lost in the shuffle.
And speaking of screens…
A lot of today’s generation has spent most of their lives behind a computer screen, with many of their experiences happening through a monitor rather than in real life. Their friendships are virtual, their problems are solved via Google or Artificial Intelligence, and their entertainment is streamed. Real-life experiences? Those are becoming rarer than finding an honest politician.
While technology is amazing (let’s not forget how it’s revolutionized everything from communication to medicine), it’s also made it easy to avoid real-world challenges. Why take a risk and put yourself out there when you can just “like” someone’s Instagram post instead of actually talking to them in person?
We live in a time where desires are celebrated—no matter what they are. It’s all about indulgence, gratification, and doing what feels good. But that’s not a path to happiness. As humans, we need temperance. Life isn’t just about satisfying every whim that comes our way. If anything, overindulging can lead to unhappiness and weakness. True happiness comes from self-mastery, from learning to control desires, not letting them control us.
Further Read: Why Moderation in All Things is Good?
Now, before we get too carried away, let’s take a step back. Every generation calls the next generation soft—it’s practically a rite of passage! We’ve been saying this for millennia. Sure, each generation becomes “softer” than the last, but isn’t that kind of the point of civilization?
We’re constantly improving living conditions, inventing new conveniences, and making life a bit more comfortable. Would anyone really want to go back to a time without air conditioning or Wi-Fi? Didn’t think so.
At the same time, while comfort is great, we shouldn’t completely idolize the present and forget that toughness, discipline, and resilience still have their place in shaping well-rounded humans.
Despite all the criticisms, here’s a silver lining: we are living in an era of incredible intelligence and creativity. Statistically, we are advancing at a rate never seen before. The new generation is smarter, more informed, and more connected to global issues than any generation before them. They’re the ones who will carry this torch forward, and they’ll find their own ways of doing so.
So, are they soft? Maybe in some ways, sure. But softness isn’t necessarily bad—it’s just different. Every generation faces its own unique challenges, and while we can debate the merits of coddling or competition, the truth is that each generation finds its balance in the end.
What do you think? Is this generation too soft, or are they simply adapting to a new world?
Let’s not idolize the past, but let’s not overlook the lessons it offers either.
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Pertinent points..I feel good answers. In India probably city bred kids are these way, may be the village ones are still growing the way we grew...
* good arguments
That's a really interesting point! It's definitely possible that city and rural kids have different experiences growing up. Maybe there's something to be said for the challenges of village life building resilience. What do you think?
Yes...lives are still different between city and village
Agreed.
Families with more money have always lavished on their kids and sheltered them from the real world, while lower income families have always lived in the real world and the kids haven't been sheltered from life. I think your question is more about the cycle of life continuing, for this has been an oft repeated remark by each older generation. My eldest grandkids are 17 and both work hard in non-school hours. I'm proud of their industriousness and drive for success.
It seems like every generation goes through the same cycle of hearing that they’re "too soft," but life just keeps moving forward.
That’s awesome about your grandkids 🙌🏼Kudos to them (and to you as a proud grandparent)
The world changes and so do families and their roles in raising their children. Do I think kids' lives are easier these days? Not really. While kids have a vast amount of knowledge and luxuries at their fingertips, they also have pressures that I didn't have when I was in my teens or as a young adult.
Good parenting still involves creating a home filled with love and discipline. Parents who do everything for their kids aren't doing them any favors in the long run. Give kids the tools to help them solve many of their own problems and be independent, but be there for them when they need the support.
You raise some excellent points. It's true that the world has changed significantly, and children today face unique pressures that previous generations didn't. It's important to give kids the tools they need to solve problems and be self-sufficient. But that doesn't mean shielding them from challenges altogether. Allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them is a crucial part of their development.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Ah, you make so many excellent points, Ritish. The question about the next generation is fascinating. Makes me think of the research of Jonathan Haidt who has shown it's the generations that made post-World War (or regional conflicts) financial stability and physical safety a priority that has given these next generations the opportunities to be more emotionally accessible.
Great point, Wynne. Haidt's research definitely helps explain a lot.
It definitely makes sense that the relative peace and prosperity of recent decades have allowed younger generations to focus more on emotional well-being and social issues. It's a cool perspective to think about
I read your blog post and while I agree with some of your points, I think the new generation is facing a unique set of challenges that might be making them seem a bit soft. I'm not talking about individual experiences, but rather the overall societal factors that are shaping this generation.
Let me give you an example. When I was growing up, I had to work part-time jobs to afford things I wanted. I learned the value of money and the importance of budgeting. Nowadays, it seems like many young people have never had to really struggle financially. Their parents have provided them with everything they need, and they've never had to face the kind of hardship that previous generations did.
I also think the over-reliance on technology has made this generation less resilient. Instead of facing problems head-on, they're more likely to turn to their phones or computers for instant gratification or to avoid uncomfortable situations. This lack of self-reliance is a major concern.
I'm not saying that everyone in this generation is soft or entitled. But I do think that these societal factors are contributing to a sense of fragility that's not always helpful.
It's great to hear different perspectives on this topic. I definitely agree that the new generation is facing a unique set of challenges. And I think you make a really good point about the over-reliance on technology. It's easy to get caught up in the digital world and forget about the importance of face-to-face interactions and real-world experiences.
I don't think today's generation is "soft", it's more aware.
The worst drinking problem exists in poor people. Highest suicide rates are among the farmers (the tough people).
The previous generations never want to admit to a problem.
My great grandmother faced domestic abuse she was clearly depressed but she didn't have an option other than to endure it.
I know I have been raised in a bubble. Now i have a "real world" job. I have received a fair share of failures in this real world and I am still going on because of those participation trophies. I received many of those before I finally won the 1st prize. The participations trophies don't tell you that you are also a winner. It says that you didn't win but it's good that you tried. Try again next time. Don't give up.
Competition is literally more than ever at this point especially in city, in every single field.
Yes I agree that there are people who want everything served to them on their plate and are spoiled brats but that's not their fault, it's their parents who didn't know how to raise a child.
Parents end up giving phones to their child the moment they are born and then blame on the kid that they are too soft and can't play outside.
Alright, I know where you're coming from. I agree with some of your points too. But, if children are consistently rewarded for minimal effort, they may become less motivated to strive for excellence. They may see no reason to put in extra work if they are going to receive a reward regardless. When children receive rewards simply for showing up, it can lead to an inflated sense of self-worth. Overpraised children may have trouble accepting constructive criticism.
I hope you're getting my point here. And I hope you're aware of Carol Dweck's research about fixed and growth mindset. That proves it.
Thanks for adding to the conversation, Alessia. I haven't heard of Carol Dweck’s research but it seems interesting.
Definitely! Completely agree, that's how children end up being dependent. We can see how children end up throwing a huge fit these days if they are not rewarded constantly.
You bring up some really powerful points, Khushi. But I think Alessia is also somewhere right here. I do think there’s a balance to be found, though—while participation trophies can encourage trying again, they might also blur the line between recognizing effort and building real resilience.
And you're right, parenting plays a huge part in how kids develop, but I think it's a mix of individual responsibility too as they grow up. It's a really interesting discussion.
I agree with you, also that failures are important!
Absolutely!
My young adult daughters are in this generation and I wouldn’t call them soft. From a financial point of view, they have things a LOT tougher than I did at their age. When they were growing up, they both hated the idea of participation medals and trophies. They saw right through it and realized you don’t get a medal just for showing up.
Honestly, I blame the rise of the smartphone for the rise in anxiety. Young people can’t help but compare themselves to others, and it’s hard to really unplug and get away from the world. I just finished reading the book “Generations” by Jean Twenge. It showed the parallel of the rise in smartphone use and increasing anxiety and other mental health disorders. Scary stuff!
Kudos to your daughters 👏 And I totally agree with you on the smartphone issue. It's tough for young people to avoid the constant comparison game with social media always in their face. I’ve heard about Twenge’s book too—definitely sounds like something worth diving into.
And yeah, it's scary but super important to talk about.
Yes Maintaining a balance is very important.
Absolutely!
I think older generations are often just hard on younger generations. It's just the way it is. I think each generation has its pros and cons. It's human nature to have strengths and weaknesses. Really interesting post.
It’s all part of the cycle, right? Glad you found the post interesting!
Well said, Ritish. So much to ponder in a world that is changing so rapidly. It's impossible not to be in the frey of some of this and your words sum it up perfectly~
💓
"we are living in an era of incredible intelligence and creativity. Statistically, we are advancing at a rate never seen before. The new generation is smarter, more informed, and more connected to global issues than any generation before them. They’re the ones who will carry this torch forward, and they’ll find their own ways of doing so."
Thanks for always being so insightful❣️
We've got a lot to figure out, but I’m sure we’ll do it in our own way. Appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts, Cindy 😊
We all do, Ritish! We are over inundated on so many levels and we must choose wisely!
It’s always my pleasure to read you!!🩷
Right Cindy, it’s all about making the right choices. Appreciate your support! 🩷
I think each generation has a trade-off of pros and cons.
I'm the very tail end of Boomer, boarding on Gen X, and I identify with Gen X more. The greatest thing about Gen X was that women became more aggressive in what they wanted and began waiting to get married, focusing on career, and then having beautiful marriages.
What I hated about the Boomer generation was keeping up appearances. I find younger generations more honest and refreshing. I never liked the phrase "TMI" (Too much information) and I think that was created by tail end Boomers.
That's just off the top of my head, but there is so much to discuss. I love people from all generations, from young to seniors. We can all learn something from each other.
Exactly, each generation has its strengths and weaknesses. Gen X's independence and self-reliance are definitely inspiring. And I agree, ditching the 'keeping up appearances' mentality is a win! I think that's one of the reasons why younger gens are more comfortable expressing themselves.
Yep!!!!!
Good blog point Ritish. I am very impressed with this blog question "Is the new generation getting softer and softer?
Also, you really have written some great factors here and as I was reading, my mind was like " THIS GUY IS RIGHT" since this current generation does all the things listed here💯
Moreover, I feel depressed when I see this new generation being focused on their screens more than their realities. The fact is that real life matters and we as people whether old or young need to wake up and smell the coffee to see that our smartphones are not important in reality. We need to have real verbal communication in the face to face format instead of just liking and texting online.
Furthermore, the points of "Rise of Anxiety" and "Rules of life are not society ruled" are remarkable to read about. I just don't like seeing young people avoiding failure because life is not smooth, it is full of bumps and we all fail in life that is for sure. For example, at work, you can make a mistake and it can cost you your job, just like my previous job, I made a mistake and I learnt a lesson which by the way I will remember the next time the problem comes again. I learnt that stealing is bad and that is a failure on it's own but the good thing is that we can bounce back from failure, it is not the end of the world.
Therefore, young people need to face failures, accept them and not get happy when they win and they avoid failure by covering it up with protection or running away. We need to embrace the bad and control our desires.
Plus, I like to visit a person face to face than just talking on the phone. A face to face talk is way better than an online occasional "Hey or How are you?
In fact, LESS IS MORE when it comes to being on our screens📱
You've added some amazing insights to the conversation, Mthobisi. I couldn't agree more on the importance of face-to-face communication. I love your phrase 'Less is More' when it comes to screen time. The idea that life’s challenges shape us more than our comforts is timeless wisdom, and it’s something every generation needs to be reminded of. I’m grateful for your perspective and for taking the time to share your thoughts here.
Always a pleasure Ritish. You have become a brother to me and as brothers, we have to help each other. This is like business, when you get a client, do everything to support and help the client so that the business makes a profit and succeeds.
I will continue to read and support your blogs my brother as long as I am alive plus when I have data or the internet(Wi-Fi) 💯
Your words mean a lot to me. I'm honored to have you as a part of my online community. Thanks for the loyalty and Wi-Fi-dependent support 😅
Amen Ritish💯💖
We often see the real world a world of chaos is not a real world. It is a world that has been manipulated by destructive leaders from generations to generations as we should have a world where kids can be kids and not have to be softer,or tough, but to be able to live a life full of happiness, but because we live in a world that is about capitalism wars, we think the kids are soft, we the adults in living that tough life have wrapped ways of thinking. Every generation has the same fucked up leaders as we do today, and every generation has been caught up in greed as we are today humanity will be its own destruction in saying that we have to find a life of bliss and any moment that we can feel happiness and give our children that kindness That bubble for a moment before they get out there there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. This of course is my opinion.
I see what you mean about the influence of destructive leadership. And I think maybe it’s about adapting to the world we’re in rather than being shaped solely by it. I really appreciate hearing your take on it.