“Thank you beta(son), I pray this Diwali brings you all the happiness in life and all your wishes come true”, she said to me that day. An old quavering voice full of hopes and happiness, deep enough to remind me that money really can buy you happiness too.
I remember, that day I was returning home very frustrated in exasperation due to a heavy unfinished workload. I was really upset with myself. On a way back I stopped at a red light where I met this old lady.
She came up to me, carrying a heavy bag on her shoulder wearing tattered clothing and a skanky veil on her head. But like everybody else, I completely ignored her.
Even so, her appealing calm voice compelled me to look at least once at what she was trying to sell. And I was really amazed by what I saw.
She was selling hand-made decorative items for the Diwali celebration as the festive season is going on in India. She was also holding some diyas (oil lamp usually made from clay, with a cotton wick dipped in ghee) on her head and shivering left hand.
I was wondering that she spends her entire day in a hope that someone would buy her hand-made items. She didn’t choose to beg, instead, she chose to work hard. That really got me.
And I’m glad that I purchased some of those items. As I wore a helmet, so she put her hand on my shoulder and blessed me like her own son.
When I returned home there was a smile on my face. I realized that I didn’t buy these items, I buy happiness for myself. I felt so much positivity around me that all my frustration just evaporated in front of my eyes.
I know we are often told that money can’t buy happiness which remains a fact but whatever happened to me that day always makes me think from a different perspective too. It clearly says that money really can buy you happiness if it is spent well.
After spending money to buy those items, the happiness I saw on her pale-faced was something out of this world that we can never imagine. Only people who are deprived of basic human needs and lack these things can understand.
You often see or hear that people with lots of money can be depressed because they can’t buy happiness from the money they hold.
But it is also true that lower/middle-class people can also be depressed because of a lack of money. A study in 2012 revealed that people in poverty had more health problems & depression.
Many of us go through life with the pursuit of money on our minds. Having money means you can buy that joyous moment of life that you really loved.
So how far this saying “Money can’t buy you happiness” truly makes sense? What do you think? Is there any correlation between money and happiness? and if so, what we can learn from it?
In both situations mentioned above, the love factor is missing in both of these situations. The love for yourself and the love for others.
The study shows the actual problem lies in the way that we spend money. There is research that shows that spending money increases your happiness if it’s spent in a way that works for you and your personality.
But, there is one more piece of research that shows that spending on other people will make you even happier than spending just on yourself. Spending something on others is one of the important aspects to gain more cheerfulness.
I can relate to it when I spent some to buying those items from that old woman. Now, every time I think about it, a line from the movie- “Pursuit Of Happiness” comes to my mind:-
This part of my life, this little part is called happiness.
Chris Gardner
There is so much reality that exists to ruminate all day. But always try to think about it from a different perspective too. It may change the way you think and bring out the best in you.
Likewise, we are often told that:- “Empty-handed you came, empty-handed you’ll go”.
But what truth is there in the saying? I mean, everybody knows it. It’s a universal fact and nature’s law. Therefore, It doesn’t matter how much we’ll take with ourselves, but it matters how much we left behind.
Because we earn for our family too. Don’t we?
Over the past quarter-century, economists and psychologists banded together to sort out the money paradox problem. The new scholars start with a simple insight that the whole money thing is a paradox.
The more you have it, the more you want and the less effective it is at bringing you joy. But the lack of having it, the more effective your problem is. There is a long debate about whether money can really buy you happiness or not?
If you don’t believe that money can buy happiness then ask those who lost their loved ones to a disease that they could not afford the expenses,
Ask the father whose daughter has been tortured for dowry,
ask the person who sleeps on the street,
ask the lower/middle-class boy or girl who loves to travel but has to give up,
ask the ragpicker guy,
ask the person who faces the harsh reality of poverty.
It’s true money isn’t everything but money can buy those things for you that bring happiness, even if for a moment only. Nothing lasts forever but the smallest happiness, that is what life is.
So, those who say “money is just a scum of hand”, Perhaps are either rich or haven’t faced the harsh reality of the world yet.
If you want to know how to use money to become happier, you need to understand just what it is that brings you happiness in the first place.
2. Go for Life experiences rather than materialistic boost. You need more in your life than passive pleasures. The satisfaction you get in the end is greater than what you can get out of more passive pursuits.
Gilovich says that people define what is and isn’t an experience differently. The happiest people are best at wringing experiences out of everything they spend money on.
3. Try counting your blessings. Those who know how to cultivate the feeling of gratitude are happier, healthier, energetic, and more optimistic.
4. Joyous moment. You can’t go to the store and buy a bottle of happiness for $50, instead, you can spend money in such a way that brings a smile to your face. Happiness is the result of things that we do and having money allows us to do that.
5. Spending something on others is also an important aspect to gain more happiness. Instead of walking to a 5-star restaurant alone, try spending some amount in a small restaurant with loved ones.
You can find a lot of reasons on the internet- why money can’t buy happiness. I also have reasons to believe that and so you do. But once you find that good experience, then you’ll start rethinking it again.
How much money a person needs to be happy varies depending on how much is required to cover your own basic needs. Money can increase the potential for life satisfaction depending on how you spend it.
Now, what do you think? Is there anything that makes you think that money you hold can buy you happiness? Or, the whole money thing is just a paradox because we’re never satisfied. Comment below.
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Touching....rightly said Ritish, money spent on bringing a smile to someone's face truly brings us happiness. Happy Diwali!
Yes, that day I really felt that.
And Thank you for reading. Happy Diwali to you and your family. Stay blessed.
This post is exceptionally good. I cannot add anything here because from the moving story about the old lady to the conclusion, and event a quote from one of my favourite writers, it is perfection.
I am always surprised by your knowledge.
Thank you.
Joanna
Wow! Thank-you so much Joanna for your encouraging words. I'm really glad you liked it.
I felt that this story need to be told so I did.
Stay blessed and keep smiling.
Loved this post, Ritish. Heartwarming. Yes, money can buy us happiness if spent well. 👏👏👏👏
Im glad you felt that Ramya.
Thank-you.
Very powerful points .
Thank-you so much.
Great points|
Thanks Luisa.
And Happy Diwali to you and your family.
The same to you! 🙏😊🙏😊🙏😊
🙏
Thank you for writing about this important topic which many people never want to look at directly. I agree that "money really can buy you happiness if it spent well." I think there is also a sense of security which having a reserve of money in savings can bring.
Yes, savings are the future's security.
One must admit that money can cause the happiness if it spent in way that suits.
And Thank you for sharing your views.
Excellent post. Nice gesture from your side to the old lady! 😊
I believe nice gesture was from her side, the way she blessed me.
And Thank you for reading Ashish.
Yes that was a two way gesture.
My pleasure reading!
Well said. Our connection to others (and to God) is what truly matters. But we all have basic needs that must be met.
Yes, I agree with you Anna.
What a wonderful thought...and reminder. :)
Thank-you Seliza Bryan.
Super post! I was watching an interview with Ken Honda, the Zen Millionaire, yesterday. He talks a lot about how the problem is actually with our relationship with money, not with money itself. We should appreciate, nurture and treat it with respect. Spending money on something truly valuable to you or others is invaluable. This post followed on nicely from that, thank you!
"Yes, a happy life starts with Happy money", said by Ken Honda.
I agree with that. Money isn't a problem as long as we have a healthy relationship with it.
thankyou for stopping by. Have a great day.
Excellent post and I agree spending n other people brings great happiness.
Yep! Thankyou for stopping by.
Very eloquently explained! I totally agree with your points! I believe the people who created the phrase “money can’t buy happiness” came from people who were hoping it would. If we haven’t worked on healing our inner spirits from the damage done by our pasts and to develop our inner harmony and peace, it’s easy to focus on external solutions. If we’ve done the work then money allows us the freedom to do things to enhance our lives and other people’s lives.
Very well written!
Thankyou so much. Glad you liked it.
I believe phrases like this are individualistic and doesn't work all the time.
If you tell this phrase to a poor or middle class man who is in need of money for his family then it doesn't make any sense at all.
I agree! I’ve had people tell me that money doesn’t buy happiness when I was striving to make a better life for myself and my daughter. They saw I was still damaged from my past and may have thought I was trying to earn money to make myself feel better, so looking back, perhaps they were well intentioned but I took it the wrong way, as though they were trying to discourage me from bettering myself. Hmmm!
Again I would like to say, if the advices like these (you described) doesn't work for you then just leave it there. They are highly generalised advices.
We all are unique and requires different solutions.
Very interesting read, Ritish. As you’ve pointed out, if you’re lacking the necessities of life, then money can make you happier and relieve some of your stress. However, if you have the basic comforts taken care of, then I don’t believe that money will make you happy. Most people spend their lives chasing material possessions, when they could find happiness right where they are.
Thanks Michelle.
As a skeptic argue, I do believe money isn't everything, if you already have the basic needs.
One could argue- Possession of money never remains the same as it keeps changing, so it is worhtless to recklessly chasing it.
I agree. It seems the more money people have, the more they relentlessly pursue more.
Indeed Michelle.
It is so true that money can buy one happiness if we are of help to someone who really needs it. Every year on Diwali, we don’t go to posh fancy stores to buy decorative diyas or fancy candles. Instead, we buy diyas from local vendors who might need the money more than those spangled stores, so that they too have a really happy Diwali with their families. Wish you happy Diwali 4 days in advance!
Right Garima.
I suddenly remembered an old man who used to sit around the corner of the road where I live, selling decorative itmes on each diwali all alone.
People there do sometimes buy items from him but not often. I was thinking how hard it must have been for him.
I was also thinking to ask him how he celebrates this festive season.
But, last year diwali he wasn't there and nor this time yet.
Maybe I was too late.
Anyway, happy diwali to you as well.
And, thanks for your comment.
Oh, what a very very interesting post! Such a fantastic reflection and I completely agree with the sentiments expressed. “spending on other people will make you even happier than spending just on yourself” That has been my observation too. The fact that it’s validated by research is wonderful.
Absolutely loved this post! Happy Diwali 🪔
Oh wow! Thanks for agreeing with me here.
I do believe, spreading happiness by any means including money is a happy investment.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated.
Happy diwali to you as well ❣
I too believe money can really buy happiness. Only those deprived of it will suffer due to the lack of it. They will be bound to suffer from social evils, or something which puts their loved ones' their true source of happiness at stake.
Whether the question ' how much money?" it really depends on person to person.
However I wish to earn money like my parents when I grow up and use my money to light some faces like you did!
~ Kunjal.( I loved the way you presented your point of view fully validated 😃)
Thank-you Kunjal for this delightful comment. You have a clear vision for this money paradox.
I appreciate your thoughts. And I hope your all wishes come true and you keep lighting upset faces. God bless you.
Happy Diwali ❣🙌
Happy Diwali to you too!
🙌
Excellent topic. Simply put money is what money does. Our relationship with wealth indicates our maturity.
Well said. This is what we need to understand.
Thank-you for sharing this
Very good article. The Like button didn't download, so I'm letting you know that I like it.
Its alright. Thanks for your appreciation.
Have a great time
Great post Ritish! It's the Maslow principle.. we need our basic needs meant and that helps. it's a slippery slope and I see plenty that aren't happy with money and others happy as clams with limited amounts. one things for sure and that's that it sure takes a lot to stay a float these days. 💖💖
That's wise of you to correlate it with Maslow principle and describes it this way.
Thank-you for reading.
I so agree this! 😇
💖👏👏
This is brilliant, Ritesh. Your points were perfect and there's no way we can object them. Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks Hemalatha.
Glad to know you agreed with me here.