Finally, It happened. The moment I was waiting for and that I already predicted 7 months back has happened. In the post that I published 7 months ago “Try Not to Laugh – It is Serious“ where I specifically mentioned this line at the end – “Now, I’m really afraid what if it’ll happen while giving an interview? There is no way to escape that”
In the post, I talked about why laughing in a serious situation is an extremely bad habit, but it is in no control of yours. It’s just a burst of nervous laughter and your body mechanism that tries to trick you to make you feel better during intense situations.
And, it does trick my brain recently. The incident made me feel socially awkward in front of those ‘serious corporate people’. I cracked a joke and laughed while having an interview and they didn’t smile me back. It was a cringe moment.
I thought I could impress them with my witty humor, but it didn’t work out as I planned. I ruined it. Or, maybe it was the wrong timing.
Yet it was just a small incident as compared to other cringe moments that happen where you feel you’re being socially awkward. It happens a lot, any day, any time at any place. In my case, I just feel socially awkward but I’m not really an awkward person.
And, feeling socially awkward isn’t a mental issue. I mean, I wasn’t gone mad when I cracked a joke and solely laughed while everyone was sitting quietly. It was just a little deviation from the minor social expectations.
Related Post: Your Sixth Sense of Humor
Forgetting to zip your zipper or yawn at a funeral isn’t a mental health issue. But your brain kinda tries to warn you – “Hey buddy! careful! You’re stepping out of social lines”. And, then you feel you’re being socially awkward.
Even the science says, there are no diagnostic criteria or even a concrete definition to define this weird glitch in the matrix. But I say social awkwardness might be just a feeling & abnormal emotions in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It might be possible that everyone is socially awkward or at least they feel it at one time or another. People define social awkwardness differently. In this perfectly imperfect world, we seek others’ approval about our activities. What we don’t realize is that the person is going to judge you in his own insignificant way. However, there are some hidden unwritten social rules that one must follow to look homogeneous.
Like, I still feel weird when I take a sip of tea or drink in a gathering or at the workplace and hope that someone else finishes the drink before me. And, I don’t understand why I can’t even listen to my own recorded voice. A more recent incident was my tomatoes & onions rolled out from my burger in front of a crowd. And the list goes on and on…, but, I know I’m not the first one who has gone through all this and I won’t be the last either.
Sometimes certain things just don’t resonate with others but it doesn’t mean you were wrong, you just misplaced it and act a bit differently from what we are used to in general.
Let me tell you, those who were wearing masks much prior to this pandemic were called weird and now we all are like them.
Whether or not you realise that we all feel awkward in our own way and have done something completely different that made us the spotlight.
But it’s awesome. Yes, being socially awkward can be awesome for you. Here are certain things that I realized about people who feel awkward and who are indeed socially awkward all the time.
Socially Awkward People don’t strive for perfection. No one is perfect, it’s an illusion. People who behave differently don’t aim for perfection in a public place, they don’t focus too much on how to stand, how to walk perfectly, how to talk, how to sit, etc. They just strive for excellence for what they are more curious about. And, I think it’s a good thing to do. Ty Tashiro, author of “The Science of Happily Ever After” explains how the ‘culture of cool’ robs the thing that you’re most passionate and enthusiastic about.
Socially Awkward People are Super Focused. People with the ability to deviate from pre-defined social rules are super focused and are able to differentiate between what matters most to them and whatnot. They have uncommoner thinking potential. They are more peculiar about uncool things that are otherwise declared as ‘not so cool’ by society.
Awkwardness makes you better. Awkwardness creates a challenge to survive any social situation. Just think of how many times the public speakers, and comedians have to go through so many weird awkward social situations in the earlier days of their careers. But it is how they polished their social and conversational skills.
Socially Awkward People are more likely to persist through hard times. People who are smart, and intelligent in certain areas are less likely to be socially skilled. They might be bad communicators as well. But the study says that they’re obsessed with the understanding of how things work. They have a tendency to focus. They’re overly rigid. They don’t worry about social pressure and what people think about them and their behavior. This makes them better able to easily persist through hard times, just because they never lower their expectations to fit into the world.
The feeling of awkwardness is common. If you’re not really an awkward person, then you might feel it several times. It’s a common trait among humans. But in reality, people don’t even notice your awkwardness as much as you do. You’re not always a spotlight in the gathering. People generally choose to avoid it.
So if you’ve done something awkward and you are distressed about it, then stop doing so. Embrace the fact about the awesomeness of being socially awkward.
In my case, It wasn’t like Chris Gardener’s interview from The Pursuit of Happiness, but I’m glad that I’m not like them ‘Humorless‘. This world is unique and the people living here make it unique. Therefore, It is indeed tough to face another of your kind with unique emotions and traits.
But you shouldn’t worry, being different is awesome.
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i am time
in my short time
the clumsiness
my depravity
my wrongdoing
into the memories
until early childhood
across my own world of thoughts back
the impotence
(Spirit and soul are within us
not out there)
without the soul's impulse
in front of the act
unable to stop
the great martyrdom
the great burden
that me with with painful sensations
shaken every day
Beautiful thoughts ❤️
As a happy person, laughing and joking, come naturally, and as you mention often at the wrong time.
Haha! For me it mostly comes at a wrong time.
But don't worry about it, always be a happy person. 😀
Love you, bhai. 🤣🤣 ❤️
It's an insightful post and I wish more people read this (especially my family).
Haha! Thanks Lokesh,
Glad you enjoyed it. Awkwardness is awesome. 😀
I guess, you can relate to it.
Haha i felt the interview awkwardness through your post...
And all of those incidents you mentioned 🙄 happened with me too a lot ...
I enjoyed reading this one
Good to hear, it happened to you as well 🤣
I thought I'm indeed awkward person.
That interview was just another experience for me for 'what not to do at interview' 🤣
Gald you enjoyed.
You make so many great points, Ritish. Especially that we all feel awkward and notice our own awkwardness more than anybody else does and how great it is to have a sense of humor! Yes - let's stay awkward, brave and kind (to steal Brene Brown's tagline)!
Thanks Wynne,
I suspect you must have some story to tell about this 'socially awkward situation' 😀
Isn't it?
That's a good tagline 👏 It resonate.
Ritish, this post is engaging and filled with good advice. It reminded me of a ridiculous article I read a very long time ago in a magazine. The author was giving advice to women about how to look your best during a romantic interlude. She explained different poses to make your stomach stick out less, your best profile to be seen, your breasts to appear larger…What a farce! I thought we were here to give and receive pleasure, not to pose! From that time on, I realized the importance of being genuine and authentic in all situations rather than focusing on making the right impression.
Have a great week, Ritish! ❤
You're right Cheryl. This culture of cool is snatching our actual being. We're now more worried about what others will think about us rather than what actually intrigues us.
Hope peope will understand this. It feels good to live free. Do what you wanna do. Be who you wanna be.
Its you thats matter.
Thanks Cheryl for your thoughtful comment. 🙌🙏🏻
I enjoyed your article Ritish! It's good to embrace awkwardness. The more we embrace it the more we realize that there are people out there that will love us for who we are. Those who can't see and embrace our uniqueness and worth are the ones missing out and truly living an awkward life. Every life is precious.
That job you were going for sounds like it wasn't a good fit for you. It’s good to laugh and joke. Maybe you weren't the awkward one. Maybe that job is just an awkward environment.
Thanks, Tina. "Maybe that job is just an awkward environment" Yeah I guess so.
You're right its good to embrace the uniqueness in each & every one of us. Those who don't aren't kind, maybe, or missing out on something in their life.
we're all awkward Ritish .. we just have to embrace it.. it makes it easier that way. Nice post!!! 💖💖
Rightly said, Cindy.
Thanks for dropping by and this lovely comment. ❣️🙌
Glad you enjoyed it my friend. You're always welcome.. pleasure! 💖🌈
Have a wonderful day, Cindy
You too Ritish!! 💖
❣️🙌
GrEaTooo! XD
Thanks 😀
Really good post, Ritish. We are feel awkward from time to time. And those of us who are different (like me!) feel it very deeply at times. Laughing at myself helps, especially in front of others. Your writing always puts a positive spin on things. Thanks for sharing! 🌞
Thanks, Lisa for your kind words. The post is inspired after I read the book "Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome" by Ty Tashiro.
So, I thought to add my own perspective to his wisdom. I too do sometimes wierd stuff that just doesn't resonate with others, but somewhere it totally resonates to me at least.
And, if you think you're different, it means you're awesome too. :-)
😊
This was funny and fun and there is so much truth to it. It is most fun thought when someone who thinks they are perfect has kind of a faux pas. Oh gosh, did I just say that? I love your outlook on life. this was a fun read. Donna
Thanks Donna :-)
Yup, everyone has kind of a faux pas, no one is perfect, but in some way everyone is. Isn't it?
Indeed.
Yes 🙌❣️
Have a wonderful weekend, Donna.
we all do experience social awkwardness from time to time, and you are so right ... it is a trait of resilience, genuineness and humour!
Well said. We are humans and we behave differently, but it doesn't matter, it's just a trait or maybe our genuineness of who we really are.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I think anyone being their honest self will make faux pars, and that's quite ok!
Haha! Interestingly, I've written about this too if you go through the previous ones. about -
'Absolute Honesty Isn't always the best policy'
https://theblogera.com/absolute-honesty-is-not-always-the-best-policy/
lol I'll believe you, 've got that Tshirt!
I'll say, 'Same Pinch',
've the same Tshirt too 😅
i am a simple
insignificant
imperfect human
my wrongdoing
my awkwardness
doesn't make me great
I'm shocked every time
either,
that I the admonishing impulse
didn't follow
or unconsciously
a stupid one
foolish act
have done
Beautiful thoughts, hgamma. Everyone is imperfect, that's what make this world an interesting place.
Thank you for your reply.
The world doesn't care
for our thoughts
for our desires
for our hopes
what is valid for people to strive for
man judges about
the opposite of perfection
and that which he recognizes as imperfect for himself
I respect your thoughts, hgamma. You have quiet a perception about perfection. Thanks for sharing.
Beautifully written yes sometimes in a serious situation laughing makes us very wired to others people look at that person and think about insanity. But very often we can't control and it happens automatically. Well shared thanks 😊👍
Yes Priti, 'It happens'
There's nothing to be worried about, instead should be focused on who you really are, and what makes you unique and what you more interesting about.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
It's pleasure of mine stay blessed ❣️💕
Thanks Priti 🙌
Have a wonderful week!
🥰🥰🥰❤
We're all weird at heart I reckon - those who are comfortable being awkward are simply comfortable in their own skin. I find it an admirable trait. Be weird - be yourself - don't be like everyone else. That's what I say anyway. Great post Ritish 🙏🙂
Nice thoughts. Be weird-Be Yourself.
Everyone has their unique set of traits, that distinguish them from the rest of the crowd. But we unknowingly consider it a shame.
There's definitely something we need to understand about the awesomeness of being different.
I guess, we both shares the same thoughts, thanks!