Okay, so it started with a random Google search: “Why do pigeons bob their heads?”
You were just killing time before a Zoom call, not trying to understand the universe or anything. But one click turned into a video, which turned into a Reddit thread, which turned into a documentary clip about urban wildlife. Next thing you know, you’re watching raccoons break into a Canadian donut shop at 2x speed.
Forty minutes later, your entire algorithm is transformed. Facebook is showing you slow-motion squirrels stealing GoPros. Your Instagram Explore tab is suddenly 60% animal cognition and 40% existential questions like “are humans just fancy animals?” You didn’t plan any of this. You didn’t choose it. But somehow… it all feels kind of perfect?
And you know what, it’s not a coincidence, the algorithm picked up on that. It noticed your vibe shift before you did. You weren’t just curious, you were overstimulated. Underwhelmed. It saw the micro-flicker of hesitation in your scrolling, the half-second longer you paused on that raccoon video, and it understood that you need something real. Something raw.
(By the way, this incident really happened to one of the Insta users)
Let’s get one thing straight: you’re not just watching content. You’re training AI.
Every time you open your phone, you’re having a conversation with an invisible intelligence, not with words, but with gestures. A scroll. A pause. A double tap. That moment you hover over a post without clicking? The algorithm notices. It’s not just learning what you like – it’s learning when, how, and why you like it. And it’s writing a story. About you.
People often think that these apps always listen to you silently, but the rabbit hole goes much deeper. And here I’m just trying to show you how deep.
This isn’t some dystopian overlord situation. It’s not DARK. It’s way subtler, which is exactly what makes it powerful. You think you’re just killing time on Instagram, but the algorithm is silently mapping your emotions. It’s figuring out what kind of person watches productivity hacks on Monday, feels philosophical on Wednesday, and panic-searches “how to retire by 40” on Sunday night. It doesn’t just know what you’re doing. It knows who you are when you’re doing it.
And here’s the unsettling part: the algorithm cares less about who you are today, and more about who you’re becoming. That future version of you? That’s the gold mine. That’s the version it’s trying to shape, influence, and monetise. Not through brute force, but through perfectly timed nudges. Not an ad that yells, “BUY THIS,” but one that says, “This feels like you, doesn’t it?”
You might think you’re in control. Choosing what to click, what to share, and what to skip. But the illusion of choice is the most brilliant part. You’re not just a user. You’re a training model. The data point. The experiment.
Let’s say you open Instagram. You scroll. You like a post. You skip another. You rewatch a reel. All those tiny moves, they don’t feel like decisions. But they are. To the algorithm, every one of them is a vote. And it’s keeping score. The next time you open the app? It’s already reshuffled your entire feed based on who it thinks you’re becoming. Not who you said you were, but who your behaviour hints at.
Because the truth is, you’re not just consuming content. Content is consuming you.
Even worse? You don’t notice it. Because it still feels like a choice. It still feels like you’re steering the ship, even though the GPS has already decided the destination and quietly rerouted the journey.
And that’s the genius of it. We still think we’re the authors of our own experience. But most of the time, we’re just filling in the blanks.
Here’s the twist no one talks about enough: it’s not just that algorithms are learning from us, it’s that we’re unknowingly becoming the version of ourselves they’ve shaped us into.
You think you’re just tweeting something funny at 11:47 PM because you’re feeling quirky. But really? The algorithm already figured out the version of you that tends to post at night – a little tired, a little honest, maybe a little reckless. And it prioritises those tweets because your late-night posts usually get better engagement. So, guess what you start doing? Posting more at night. A bit more raw. A bit more unfiltered. And slowly, that becomes your brand. You didn’t plan it, the algorithm nudged, and you leaned in.
Now zoom out. The version of you who tweets. The version of you who shops. The version of you who scrolls at 1 AM. These aren’t entirely you by design; they’re also you by data.
The scariest part? You don’t feel controlled. You feel seen. It’s not a puppet show, it’s improv. But the stage, the lighting, the props? All pre-arranged. And the character you think you’re creating? It might’ve been suggested in the script all along.
So who’s really doing the writing here?
You?
Or the algorithm that knows you’ll want to sound just like you, only slightly cooler, slightly more clickable?
Alright, I’ll be honest – we were never afraid of tools. A hammer doesn’t tell you what you build. But algorithms? They’re kinda trickier. They look like tools, but they behave more like silent influencers.
At first, these systems were here to help. “Let me recommend a show you might like.” But over time, that helpful little nudge turned into a slow steering of the wheel. Now, it’s not just about what you might like, it’s about shaping what you think you like. Or even who you think you are. Spotify isn’t just playing music you enjoy, it’s curating your personality in audio form. The algorithm’s not guessing what you want; it’s creating the wanting itself.
[And it’s an actual fact: Spotify’s algorithmic playlists are built using mood prediction models trained on your listening behaviour, not just the genre, but when and how you listen]
And you adapt. Not because you’re weak. Because you’re human. We all want to belong. We all want to feel understood. Algorithms exploit that soft, beautiful part of us that just wants to be known, and turn it into an engagement loop.
So, what now? Panic? Throw your phone out of the window? No, this isn’t about fighting the machines. It’s about staying conscious in a system that thrives on your autopilot.
Step one: just notice. Seriously, that’s it. Start spotting the moments where your feed feels a little too perfect. Question why that content makes you feel the way it does. Ask, “Did I want this… or did the algorithm decide I would?”
Step two: mess with the machine. Algorithms want you predictable. They love it when you scroll like a zombie. So shake things up. Be a little weird. Be unpredictable. Watch a video in a language you don’t speak. Follow someone who doesn’t fit your vibe. Basically, confuse the hell out of your feed.
Step three: choose your inputs. Instead of letting the algorithm decide what fills your brain all day, start curating your own mental playlist. Follow people who make you think, not just influencers who make you shop. Read something longer than a caption. Consume content that feeds your mind, not just your mood.
And finally? Remember that real life doesn’t need an algorithm to validate it. Go outside without your phone. Talk to people without trying to make the conversation tweetable. Do something completely unoptimized.
Because in a world that’s increasingly predicting your next move, staying human isn’t about going offline, it’s about staying awake.
[Shoutout to my friend who works in AI and robotics for helping me understand how these systems actually work, and what they might be doing to us without us even noticing]
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Thank you, Ritish, for your eloquent discourse on the complexities of using social media. It is unwise, in my view, and I don't use any apart from WP. I am not a product but an independent writer ( cue my post!), and my mind is only influenced by my thoughts. By the way, Ritish, why am I not on the list of your readers?
Joanna
I appreciate your honesty and clarity, Joanna. You’re a reminder that true independence begins with intention. And oh, you’re definitely on the list.
Always appreciate your presence here.
The alarming thing for me is our lives are no longer private. Someone or something (AI) is always watching. While there are many benefits to AI, one has to realize that it comes with many associated problems.
Totally with you on that, Pete. We traded convenience for invisibility and most of us didn’t even notice the fine print. AI brings amazing possibilities, but yeah, it also means we’re kind of living in a glass house now. The key, I guess, is staying aware, not paranoid, just... awake.
By the way, I just finished your latest book and left a review last night on Amazon and Goodreads. I like the angle of recognizing ordinary people who have done extraordinary things.
Pete, that absolutely made my day. Thank you so much for reading the book and for leaving such a thoughtful review! 🙏 I’m really glad the stories resonated with you. it means a lot coming from someone who truly gets the heart behind the series.
Thank you, Ritish, for this informative, eye-opening post. I especially thank you for the tips on how to manage this insidious, addictive mess of social media. It makes me feel pretty gullible.
We’ve all been a little gullible in this algorithm maze. The important part is noticing it, and you already have.
Appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts.
LIVE IN THE LIGHT! Switch off all dark images and stop watching and absorbing what society is throwing at us all. It's time to make our own LIFE CHOICE. do we let technology determine our futures? Make a choice to absorb into our humanity what is good pure and radiates LIGHT not DARKNESS in to our living. We need no help from AI to control our unique human Brain's capacity.
I get what you’re saying Faye. In a world full of noise and digital manipulation, choosing the light is the real act of rebellion. We do have the power to decide what we let in.
Though most of us have been using AI for years without being aware we were doing it, we are a little bit nervous about AI becoming our puppet master, and we worry about our personal information and privacy. Thank you, Ritish, for shining a light on what remains something of a dark corner of the internet. Your post is very informative and insightful. 💕
We've been inside the Matrix longer than we realized. Most of us didn’t even know we were plugged in. And now that we’re waking up, yeah... it’s a little scary. But awareness is the first step to reclaiming control.
Grateful for your thoughtful words Cheryl 🙌
Wonderful article, Ritish! With the way you have laid bare, how the seemingly innocuous algorithm is making us heady with dopamine hits and steering our choices - it takes me to the new marketing trends of customization and personalisation. In the name of curating UI/UX to your personal taste, our data is not just with social media platforms and we are creating our personal Wonderlands here.
Yep, what looks like personalisation often ends up being subtle persuasion. We think we’re building our own digital safe spaces, but in reality, we’re just handing over the keys.
Appreciate your insights.
Excellent... And yes AI is learning and feeding us all the time. Yes it can be scary, when you really digest all that you have said..
But I love your solutions to mix it all up and confuse... And the best bit of all you said...
To go out in Nature and not take your phone... I was brought up in an era without mobile phones or computers, and I was in my late 40's when I first ever went on a computer. And self taught myself everything ever since..
Now if the internet goes down, it seems people feel lost..
I wonder what the algorithms would do if we ALL ignored our devices all at once.. ;-)
I know I leave mine alone for long periods and enJOY connecting back with Nature..
Which is what I have been doing this week. :-)
Such a great article Ritish, very informative and knowledgeable.. Thank you, it certainly gives us much to consider and think about. 🙏
Sue, I absolutely love everything you said. I really do wonder what would happen if we all just vanished from our screens for a day 😆😆 The whole system of AI and algorithms would have an existential crisis, maybe. But that would be so awesome.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s voices like yours that remind me why I write these pieces in the first place.
Wouldn't it just.... It is a picture to conjure up in the mind of AI in its hard-drive losing it and imploding via neglect :-) haha..
Many thanks Ritish, I am delighted to follow your thoughts here. And likewise, it makes our blogging posts worth while the effort xx
Thanks for the explanation, Ritish! And your tips are great. I very much appreciate your final lines on staying human. ☀️