They never taught us how to live. We’re taught the rules of grammar, the theorems of math, and the dates of history. We’re prepped for exams, careers, and the theoretical world. Yet, when the real world hits, many of us just don’t know what to do. A year ago, I did argue that schooling can sometimes hinder education.
Schools focus on getting good grades and getting a degree, but they don’t teach us how to actually live. It’s like they take all these unique kids and try to squash them into the same mold. Imagine if schools actually helped kids find their strengths instead, like letting them explore art, music, and sports alongside math and science. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Unfortunately, most of our schools were pretty traditional. We just studied from books and took tests. The real lessons came later, from dealing with life’s ups and downs. I learned how to keep going when things get tough, to understand other people’s feelings, and to bounce back from problems. It took a lot of work, although, I’m still figuring out who I am and what I want. I’m still learning the essential life skills that nobody actually taught me.
The science behind learning life skills is fascinating. Human brains are incredible, they’re always changing and growing, especially when we learn new things. The more we practice something, the better we get at it. That’s why it’s important to learn life skills early on when our brains are most flexible.
Life skills help us feel good and build strong relationships. They make us smarter about making choices and dealing with stress. Basically, life skills are the building blocks for a happy and successful life.
So, here are a few life skills that nobody actually taught us, I think:
1. There’s a Difference Between Being Alone and Being Lonely
A few years back I had a conversation with one of my long-lost friends. It was around 9 years since we saw each other. We talked for a while and the story he told me upset my mind. Within these years he’s gone through a lot. In between the conversation he controlled his tears and said:
“Being Lonely is the worst thing in anyone’s life. It feels like you’re drowning in an ocean of your own self-judgment and hate and every time you pull yourself up to breathe, another wave washes over you. There are a lot of people around you but yet no one holds your hand to bring you to the shore.”
That conversation stuck with me, and it made me realize that I had been confusing being alone with being lonely for a long time. I had thought that being alone meant being lonely, but my friend’s words made me see the difference. Being alone is a state of physical solitude, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re feeling sad or disconnected. You can be alone and still feel fulfilled, content, and even happy.
On the other hand, loneliness is an emotional state of feeling disconnected, isolated, and unheard. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, just like my friend described. It’s a feeling of being adrift, without a sense of belonging or support.
2. It is Good to Leave Your Comfort Zone
When you find your comfort zone, and stay so long within that, you might be missing something. That cozy little bubble where everything feels familiar and safe? Yeah, it’s great to hang out there sometimes, but the thing is, it can also get pretty limiting. I mean, think about it – if you never leave your comfort zone, you’ll never really know what you’re capable of.
Now, I’m not saying you should constantly be pushing yourself to the edge (although let’s be real, sometimes that’s necessary too). But what I am saying is that finding a balance between comfort and discomfort is key. It’s like, you need a little bit of both to really grow and learn.
Some people are lucky enough to grow up trying lots of different things. But for most of us, we gotta push ourselves a bit to step outside our comfort zones. It can be scary, but it’s also where the fun and growth happen. So, don’t be afraid to get a little uncomfortable. It’s okay to feel scared or nervous – that’s just your comfort zone trying to hold you back.
3. Use Your Leisure to Create, Not Conceal
Tell me, how do you usually spend your leisure time? A lot of us use that time to chill out and forget about our daily grind. That’s totally fine! But, what if we could use that time to actually build the kind of life we want? For example, if you’re stuck in a corporate job but want to be a writer, maybe spend your evenings writing or taking a writing course or perhaps start writing a book. It might not feel like much at first, but small steps can lead to big changes.
The point is, your leisure time is precious. Don’t just use it to escape the present – use it to build the life you want.
4. Procrastination Isn’t Always a Bad Thing
Procrastination is usually seen as a bad thing, but in my opinion, it isn’t. Procrastination isn’t always a productivity killer. In fact, it can be a useful tool…if you use it intentionally. Think about it, sometimes putting things off can help you focus on what really matters.
It’s okay to leave some tasks for tomorrow if it means you’re tackling the important stuff today. So, don’t beat yourself up over not getting everything done. Just prioritize, focus, and use procrastination to your advantage. It’s all about balance.
I highly recommend you read this: Procrastination Isn’t Always a Bad Thing
5. Advice is just Advice
Everyone’s got advice, right? We’ve all been there – someone’s telling us what to do, and we’re like, “Okay, got it”. But the thing is: advice is just advice. It’s based on someone else’s experiences and might not work for you. That’s because we’re all unique, with different situations and stages of life.
So, take advice for what it is – a perspective. Listen, consider, and then decide what works best for you. Don’t feel pressured to follow someone else’s path just because it worked for them. You do you.
6. Money Can Buy You Happiness
Okay, I know this is a hot topic and many of you would disagree. The fact is, money can actually bring happiness, but it’s all about what you use it for. If you know what makes you happy, money can help you get those things. It’s not about being rich, but about covering your basics and enjoying some extras.
Think about it, money can buy experiences, memories, and moments that make life worth living. It’s not the only thing that matters, but it can definitely contribute to happiness. So, those who say “money is just a scum of hand”, Perhaps are either rich or haven’t faced the harsh reality of the world yet.
If you still don’t believe money can buy you happiness, you can read my personal story and thoughts here: Money Really Can Buy You Happiness!
7. You Might Be Smarter Than You Think
It’s funny how it works, right? People who aren’t so smart often think they’re geniuses, while the really smart ones doubt themselves. It’s like the opposite of what you’d expect. Sometimes, smart people think, “If it’s easy for me, it must be easy for everyone else.” But that’s just not true.
This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect, basically, it means that people who don’t know much tend to overestimate their abilities, while those who know a lot tend to underestimate theirs. So, next time you’re feeling unsure about yourself, remember: you might be smarter than you think.
8. Prioritise Family & Me Time
It’s awesome to be good at your job, but don’t forget about the people who matter most – your family! Balancing work and family life is tough, but it’s super important. So, while it’s great to be productive, make sure you’re also making time for the people you love and for yourself. After all, what’s the point of all that hard work if you can’t enjoy it with your family?
9. Write Every Day
Everyone’s got stories to tell. Writing is a great way to get those ideas out of your head and onto paper. It’s like exercising your brain and letting your imagination run wild. It is one of those life skills that I admire deeply. Don’t worry about making sense or being perfect, just let your imagination run wild. You might be surprised at what you come up with.
If you do not already know, it is scientifically proven that writing affects how your brain works. I’ve been writing for over 4 years and after writing several articles or blogs I have a positive outlook and a kinda divergent perspective of seeing the situation.
10. Saying Sorry is a Strength, Not a Weakness
Saying sorry isn’t about being wrong, it’s about caring more about the person than your pride. A simple “sorry” can save a relationship. So, swallow your ego and give it a try. If you never try you’ll never know how a sincere apology with a smile can work wonders.
Must Read This Story: Ego Psychology & Importance of Saying Sorry
11. Balance is Beautiful
Want to know the secret to a happy life? It’s all about balance. Just like a perfect recipe, you need a dash of everything in moderation. Not too much, not too little – just the right amount. Whether it’s work, play, exercise, relationships, or even laughter and happiness, all you need is just find that sweet spot. So, enjoy everything in moderation and live your best life.
12. Know the Significance of the Word ‘Life’
Life is actually pretty incredible if you just sit for a while and think about it. Like, really stopped to think about it? You’ll perhaps realize how rare and beautiful it is to even exist. There’s so much beauty and wonder in the world, from tiny flowers to distant galaxies.
It’s a crazy, beautiful adventure, and we’re lucky to be a part of it. I’ve spent countless nights staring through my telescope, and it just blows my mind. Only my telescope and I know how many wonders we’ve seen together. To be honest, it isn’t even a life skill but more of a self-awakening one.
13. It’s Ok to Talk Less
It’s OK to talk less, I’m an introvert but I know the where, what and how of talks. So it isn’t any shortcoming.
14. Socially Awkwardness Doesn’t Mean You’re Mad
There’s nothing wrong with being socially awkward. In fact, It is awesome. No one is perfect, it’s an illusion. People who behave differently don’t aim for perfection in a public place, they don’t focus too much on how to stand, how to walk perfectly, how to talk, how to sit, etc. They just strive for excellence for what they are more curious about. And, I think it’s a good thing to do.
Life’s a wild adventure, and we’re all just figuring it out as we go. Remember, it’s okay to not have all the answers. The journey is as important as the destination.
So, tell me what life skills would you add to this list?
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August 9, 2024 at 8:42 pm
We share similar philosophies about most of this. The loneliness vs. being alone is an interesting point. I’m pretty extroverted, but I also enjoy my alone time. It seems loneliness comes when someone wants connections with others (something most of us need and crave), but can’t find it. Connection is what we get through blogging.
One reason I volunteer at assisted living is to foster those connections. I see lonely people who appreciate that someone wants to connect with them. It’s equally beneficial for me.
August 10, 2024 at 11:27 am
Great to hear we’re on the same page. And I totally get what you mean about volunteering at assisted living. Even a simple conversation can brighten someone’s day and remind them they’re not alone. Connection is a two-way process, we receive just as much as we give. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experiences.
Always good to hear from like-minded folks like you.
August 9, 2024 at 9:00 pm
This is a cracking post Ritish.
August 10, 2024 at 11:28 am
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment – it’s appreciated.
August 9, 2024 at 10:38 pm
I absolutely love this post, Ritish! I think I’d add “Be true to yourself” to the list. We often spend so much of our time trying to please or impress others that we lose our authentic selves along the way.
August 10, 2024 at 11:30 am
Thanks so much! I’m glad you loved the post! And I couldn’t agree more – ‘Be true to yourself’ is an amazing addition to the list. It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to meet others’ expectations, but losing ourselves in the process is a huge price to pay. Authenticity is freedom.
September 4, 2024 at 5:52 pm
Hi Ritish. I wanted to let you know that I featured your post in my monthly roundup for August. https://boomerecocrusader.com/august-2024-roundup/
September 4, 2024 at 9:09 pm
Michelle! I actually read your post earlier, but weirdly, my comment just vanished. Just tried again, fingers crossed it goes through this time. Thanks again for featuring us, means a lot.
August 9, 2024 at 11:39 pm
Love all these wonderful points, Ritish. The story about your friend is heart-breaking.
I agree with your points. The thing that strikes me to add is When Stuck, Try Lifting Someone Else Up.
Beautiful post, Ritish!
August 10, 2024 at 11:35 am
Thank you so much for your kind words. My friend is doing fine now, he’s about to get married too.
And I love, love, LOVE your addition. Sometimes helping others can help us find our own way out of a tough spot.
August 10, 2024 at 1:08 pm
Love it love it love. Loads of what you’ve said I live out anyway and I’m nodding away as I read. But what I am going to take away is to “live in my learning zone”. I just loved that there can be this zone between comfort and danger and it is learning. Thank you.
August 10, 2024 at 1:10 pm
Love it love it love. Loads of what you’ve said I live out anyway and I’m nodding away as I read. But what I am going to take away is to “live in my learning zone”. I just loved that there can be this zone between comfort and danger and it is learning. Thank you.
[just posted and forgot to log in to WordPress. Doh! A learning!!! 🙂 }
August 10, 2024 at 8:13 pm
Haha, love the authenticity! 😂
But, glad to hear you’re already living out some of these points, that’s actually awesome. The learning zone is a perfect sweet spot. It’s where growth really happens. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
August 10, 2024 at 5:45 pm
A great list about navigating LIFE, all so true!
August 10, 2024 at 8:05 pm
Glad you found it relatable.
August 10, 2024 at 7:49 pm
Great points!!
August 10, 2024 at 8:06 pm
Thanks!
August 11, 2024 at 6:43 am
Wonderful insights, Ritish! Well-written and very comprehensive! ❤️ As a retired teacher, the comments on eduction are very relatable! Schools should be teaching critical thinking skills, encouraging curiosity, and providing opportunities for social interaction and creativity! Teaching empathy would also go a long way in preparing students to better navigate their lives.
August 11, 2024 at 10:12 am
Thanks a ton! Means a lot coming from a retired teacher. I completely agree that schools should focus more on critical thinking and creativity.
August 12, 2024 at 11:16 pm
Agree!
August 12, 2024 at 12:32 pm
Thank you for this post. What is taught at schools is vital but we need children to be informed that the need to be educated in ALL areas of their humanity. 1. physical. 2. EMOTIONAL 3 SOCIAL 4. intellectual. but never forgetting the SPIRITUAL in every human being. Number 5. is extremely important Not something forced but with every human child given information and choice Too many are falliing into traps by filling their spiritual with what is dark and life destroying.
August 13, 2024 at 10:41 am
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Faye. I couldn’t agree more, it’s so important to educate children in all areas of their humanity, including their spiritual well-being.
August 12, 2024 at 8:37 pm
What a great story! I’m so glad you shared it. The data you supplied was both practical and simple to grasp. Your ability to simplify otherwise difficult ideas is much appreciated. Anyone interested in learning more about this subject would benefit greatly from reading this.
August 13, 2024 at 10:42 am
I appreciate your kind words about the data and simplification. I’m happy it was helpful. Thanks for reading!
August 12, 2024 at 9:17 pm
So much wisdom here, Ritish! Izzy agrees! We would add “practice being grateful & generous in any way you can.” Gratitude & generosity have a way of elevating the spirit. Your friends’ words were haunting & I hope his life has changed for the better. Many blessings to you, my friend. ☀️
August 13, 2024 at 10:45 am
Thanks so much, Izzy (and friend). I love your additions. They can shift our focus and energy in the best way possible. And thank you for your kind words about my friend’s story, he’s doing well now (just talked to him yesterday). Sending you both lots of love and sunshine ☀️❤️
August 13, 2024 at 10:57 pm
💕🙏☀️
August 12, 2024 at 10:06 pm
What a great post Ritish with so many good tips all vital for existence. I do know the inner suffering of feeling lonely that so many suffer that can be crippling but we need to do better in schools and not forget how important personal development is.. Loved this and will earmark to come back to💓
August 13, 2024 at 10:47 am
Thanks so much for your kind words, Cindy🙏🏼🙌🏼. Personal development and emotional intelligence should be a bigger part of our education system.
August 12, 2024 at 11:15 pm
Great points.
August 13, 2024 at 10:48 am
Thanks for reading!
August 13, 2024 at 10:43 pm
My pleasure 🙂
August 13, 2024 at 11:19 am
Wise thoughts Ritish. I specially found the difference between being lonely and being alone to be so true!
August 15, 2024 at 10:27 am
Thanks so much! It’s something many of us overlook.
August 19, 2024 at 4:13 am
I enjoyed reading your post very much and agree whole heartedly. I think I would add… To learn that it’s OK to fail but you must believe you can improve and try again. I was a perfectionist and even getting 90 % was a fail in my eyes if I had got a higher mark before. I would get so angry with myself. So the other part of failing to live up to such high standards is forgiveness. Forgiving oneself and also others that might not live up to my standards. It has brought me greater confidence and peace. Thank you for such a thought provoking post. 🙏🌈
August 20, 2024 at 11:23 am
I love what you added. I’m glad you brought up self-forgiveness. At the end, it’s all about progress, not perfection. Thanks for being real and sharing your heart, Morag 🙏🏼🙌🏼
August 21, 2024 at 2:57 am
I’m saving this post. There are some great links to explore.
Thanks for sharing.
I think the most important skill that should be taught in school is life skills , budgeting, and looking after your mental, emotional & physical health
August 21, 2024 at 11:16 am
I’m glad you found it helpful, Daisy. It’s a shame they’re often overlooked in traditional education.
August 22, 2024 at 12:11 am
I taught English lit in middle school for about 11 years (starting in the late 70s) and the short stories, poetry and even the one novel we read did teach some life skills. Dealing with family issues, dealing with grief, dealing with feeling alienated… Later, when I taught writing at the university level, I think we got into more exploration of life skills because they wrote about their experiences and shared with each other. I have worked with a lot of professors as a course designer even later and some of them absolutely did not teach or discuss life skills, or even relate the course content to application. That was something that bothered me greatly. For example, I took two statistics classes, learned the math, made A’s in both at the grad level and NEVER learned which formulas would be most appropriate for which research questions. I agree with you that education could focus more on practical application and exploration of what is important in life. I think classes like literature, philosophy, social sciences (even history) do tend to link content to life skills more. With all the cool stuff going on in science today, that is a rich area for discussing different perspectives (take a test from the viewpoint of an octopus? a tree? a whale?). Unfortunately, as of late, many of the elementary and secondary schools are forced to teach to the standardized tests, I hear. I would be a terrible 7th grade English teacher these days.
Wonderful food for thought. Great post.
August 22, 2024 at 4:33 pm
I’m so glad you pointed out that some subjects. I hadn’t considered how literature and other humanities courses can teach life skills. Learning should be about more than just passing tests or memorizing formulas. And I couldn’t agree more about the importance of exploring different perspectives.
You’ve given me a lot to think about.
Anyways, thank you for sharing your wisdom and experiences, Annie. 🙏🏼🙌🏼
August 23, 2024 at 7:01 pm
💚💓💖 GREAT points 💯
I hope you have a good Friday. Greetings 👋🇪🇸
August 24, 2024 at 10:29 am
Thanks for reading! Have a lovely weekend!
August 26, 2024 at 2:18 am
Anna Freud’s ascerbic commentary on public education: “Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.” 😆
August 27, 2024 at 3:46 pm
Haha, love that quote. Appreciate you taking the time to comment.
August 27, 2024 at 5:00 pm
👍
August 26, 2024 at 10:36 pm
Ritish, I’m sure you could find ways to critique your words and musings (some of us have to draw a line and post because of perfection paralysis), but to me and surely others, the material in your posts and the way you have conveyed thoughts are simply perfect.
August 27, 2024 at 3:44 pm
That’s very kind of you to say that, Dawn. Perfection paralysis is a real thing, and I’m guilty of it too sometimes, but it’s okay to share (even imperfections).
Thanks for being so supportive and encouraging, means a lot to me 🙏🏼🙌🏼
August 29, 2024 at 7:16 pm
Hi Ritish, you make great points in this well-written post. There’s definitely more for children to learn about living beyond grades and tests in school. The family foundation at home is impactful too, so it makes you wish that all children had the loving support and guidance they need to move forward each day. I’ll have to come back to this and read again. Have a good day…
September 3, 2024 at 2:42 pm
I completely agree with you, Lauren. Family support makes all the difference in helping kids learn those essential life skills. And yeah, grades and tests aren’t everything. Thanks for stopping by!
September 4, 2024 at 4:49 am
You’re welcome, Ritish! 🙂
September 10, 2024 at 3:25 pm
Wow. Finally, a Blogger gets it right💯. Excellent and incredible post Ritish about the life skills that no one has taught us about more so at these schools and Universities we went to.
Also, in summary I would say enjoy your life and live it to the fullest. Have fun, spend time with family or friends, eat food, do what you want and it is fine to postpone things and procrastinate, we are only human.
Take care💯👏
September 11, 2024 at 5:29 pm
Thanks for your awesome comment, Mthobisi.
It’s okay to take breaks, procrastinate, and just be human. Life is meant to be experienced, not just endured. keep living life to the fullest.
September 11, 2024 at 8:19 pm
Exactly brother💯🙏🙏
Enjoy your day and life as well
September 19, 2024 at 5:57 pm
Deep thinking, Ritish, and truthful.
September 19, 2024 at 9:51 pm
Appreciate your kind words.
October 3, 2024 at 9:42 am
Very good written…!
October 3, 2024 at 11:12 am
Thanks for reading!