Life Events

Patience: The Key To Success | The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment

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“Patience is the key to success”, and “Have Patience! Everything will be alright”. These are the two most uttered phrases that we always heard, whenever we are anxious about something. Having patience means being able to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity inside you.

But, now let’s do a simple task, search for five people nearby you who are not anxious or in any serious trouble but living a balanced life. Seems hard?

You will barely find a person in your surroundings who can say that he/she is fully satisfied with what they have. Because finding someone like that is getting blood out of stone. Everyone has their own setbacks and needs more in life which is obvious, I mean, who doesn’t? But I find that the most troubled ones are teenagers who have lost their happiness in this advanced technology world.

The pressure of study, assignments, examinations, love life and the thrust of always looking better in the field have ruined their patience.

They don’t seem to settle and trust their capabilities. The envy of what others have and why don’t I are putting them into a loop of chasing where there is no such thing as ‘Patience’.

Even adults are now the most anxious ones in our surroundings. Their struggle to get a decent job, the stress of less salary, the pressure of getting married, family, inflation, and other societal pressures and materialistic things are completely testing their patience.

However, one age group that seems to be calmer and humble over tough situations is our senior citizens. The reason for their calmness is their experience to tackle situations throughout their life.

Another example of having patience is whenever we are in the exam hall invigilator always uttered looking at our nervous faces that “take your time”. They used to utter these words repeatedly so that we could focus on the present and might not get distracted. But often we assume it is wrong and wasted our time in the examination hall.

Having Patience Vs Wasting Time

According to Cambridge, Patience is defined as the ability to wait or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining about becoming annoyed, where any person would have experienced these emotions.

Patience helps us in direct control of ourselves. Patient people have a great sense of gratitude and improve their ability to accept disappointments and regain the motivation to become successful people. It helps in building confidence, perseverance, and a positive viewpoint on life.

Patience and wasting time are two different concepts, most people assume having patience means leaving things over destiny and seating quietly. Everyone faces failures in their life whether it is Elon Musk who failed multiple times in his life before becoming the richest person in the world and Zack Ma who was rejected in 25 interviews before incorporating Ali Baba.

One thing you will see common in successful people is that they always work hard in their life and they never lose their patience. They never sit quietly instead they work on their failure and continue their work by keeping serenity.

Often patience is misunderstood as wasting time as in both you are taking a moment of pause. However, if you try to understand, you’ll find that there’s a huge difference between the two. Patience means sharing some tender moments and not feeling rushed or pressured. On the other hand, wasting time is just about taking the pressure later on.

Being patient means you are waiting for your turn to come and wasting time means you are letting your turn go in vain.

A patient person is dynamic and knows exactly what he is doing and what it can lead to. But the people who think wasting time is the same as being patient are often stuck in the loop of finding, getting rejected, and thus hopeless.

It’s a human tendency that we want everything to be done in an instant. We have become more dependent on gadgets and instruments, which have made our life easy and reliable. But it’s also ruining our patience, for instance- when we order some food and it’s getting late in delivery at our door, we often become seem to be abusive towards the delivery man. We even do not bother ourselves to ask him why he got late to find a reason.

The Internet has made our life easy, we can send any message to our loved ones in a second. Also, we can watch whatever happening in the world just by sitting in our place. But what if the WI-FI doesn’t work for like an hour? I know you don’t want to imagine because it will still make you anxious. But, it’s hard to hear the truth. Our dependency has become so enormous that we just couldn’t live without it even for a while.

Stanford Marshmallow Experiment: The Art of Self-Control

Stanford Marshmallow Experiment was conducted by psychologist Walter Mischel professor at Stanford University. He tested this on children around 4-5 years old by offering them marshmallows on the table but under one condition.

His condition was that they can not eat the marshmallows while they were away. If they succeed to do so then they will be awarded a second marshmallow. The condition was like “one treat right now or two treats later“.

Some of them ate the first marshmallow as soon as the researcher left the room but some managed to wait for the entire time. It was published in 1972 and is known as – The Marshmallow Experiment.

Later researchers follow the studies and track each child’s progress which was known as the power of delayed gratification. They found that the children who have delayed enjoyment and waited for an award ended up having high social status and better responses to stress and better life measures. The research found that ability to control and have patience in life is essential for becoming a successful person. Must read:- Standford Marshmallow Experiment.

Where to Cultivate Patience?

As I said in the first para that having patience means being able to wait calmly in the face of frustration, so anywhere there is frustration or adversity, we have the opportunity to practice it. 

  • In Daily Life – We take birth and die, but in between this we learn a lot of things in our life. Patience is one of the things which most people forgot to practice in their daily life activities. We are always in hurry to make something happen real soon without knowing the fact that everything takes time. Don’t expect the Eiffel tower to be built in a day, if it is, then it’s a scam. Have patience and trust the journey. Great things take time.
  • Whenever We Start Something New – In 2019, 90% of the startup failed during the year. And every year many new ideas came into the market and very few of them successfully manage to become a unicorn. The only reason behind their downfall is a lack of patience. Whenever we grow a seed it never becomes a big tree overnight, it takes several years when it gives us fruit. So, if you want to become successful you must not lose your calm and should stick with your goal.
  • Facing Failures – As I said, No one becomes successful over a night. They did a lot of hard work and never loses their cool during downfalls. Great things take time and come to those only, who can wait. There is no more powerful aid to success than self-possession. No one is perfect in this life, everyone does mistakes so no matter what difficulty you face, keep yourself calm and believe what you are doing.
  • To Control Anger – A typical impatient person tends to be imagined as face red, head streaming. They’re always filled with negative emotions. And it is so easy to point them out in daily hassles—traffic jams, long lines at the grocery store. This much anger and frustration are not good for them and their mental health. On the other hand, patient people tend to experience less depression and negative emotions, perhaps because they can cope better with upsetting or stressful situations.

Life-changing Benefits of Being Patient

Patience helps you in building smart decision-making. It improves your thought process and keeps you out of negative aspects which might fall you down. It helps us to remain calm and positive most of the time so that we could focus more on ourselves. Forbearance helps in remaining in the present moment without thinking about our past.

Patience helps you in increasing your strength and makes you an optimist. It helps us in fighting the situation courageously instead of worrying. It makes you strong not from the outside but on the inside. You can better at being patient

It helps us to remain happy in our life. Patience helps us focus on the things which are in the present rather than crying about the things which are out of our control. Baylor University psychologist found that “People who are more patient also tend to be more hopeful and satisfied with their lives. They are less likely to be stressed or depressed or experience health issues”.

I’m practicing patience for over several years now, and I must say that it gives me a whole other perspective and courage to deal with the situation. Now I reframe my thinking about given circumstances. I try to put myself in others’ shoes or situations before judging and concluding my decision.

Patience is a skill that teaches you how to be calm in the face of a frustrating situation. It makes you stronger whenever you learn to sustain your emotions. Patience is a virtue for success, those who learn to control it reward them as success in return.

So, what do you think about being patient? Let me know down here.


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Deepak Joshi

Deepak Joshi is a Writer and a Co-founder of Aspiring Blog. He writes about the social norms that are very less discussed in society. He also writes about certain Life-events and fascinating & compelling real-life stories. You can find his work on his author's page.

View Comments

  • An extrinsic thesis
    on the expected success
    through patience
    becomes intrinsic
    does not do justice
    to heuretic realities

    • I respect your perspective about patience. Patience is something which can't be debated as everyonehas their own experience.

      Thank you for stopping by.

      • Hello Mr. Deepak Joshi

        Thank you for your response:

        Quote:

        I respect your attitude towards patience. Patience is something that plays a huge role in human development.
        Thanks for your visit.

        *

        Spirit and soul are within us
        not out there
        man is always on the move
        even if he stops
        in anticipation
        something better than that
        why his range of possibilities
        surpasses man in his virtues

        the most important role
        a balance needs to be struck
        between the requirements
        in dependence on the outside world

        *

        Excerpt: (Quote: Ernst Pöppel page 327.)

        Three forms of knowledge, explicit, implicit and pictorial knowledge, are tied to different brain mechanisms, which does not mean that they are independent of each other. .... The three knowledge systems form a common effect structure in which only different orientations of our knowledge can be emphasized more clearly.

        Wishing you
        have a wonderful day.

        Hans Gamma

  • 💜 YOU!!! "Succeed" when Born EveryOne, Mum and Bub Still Alive; it's Really Funny 😁 😂 😀 😆 🤣 😄 😁 that We 🔮 THINK!!! "Success" and Failure ARE Different EveryBody 👌🏾 🙂 💯 ✨️ in Short, Exist, Experiment and Experience

    ...💛💚💙...

    • Success is something which comes out from having patience and in failure we should learn to trust the journey. And though its not even a faliure, its all a learning. Isn't it?

      Thank you for stopping by 💓

      • 💜 YOU!!! ARE Welcome 🙏🏿 🤗 ☺️ ; according to Rudyard Kipling and His Poem 'If' "Failure" and "Success" ARE "Imposters" EveryOne, "Successful" is only Ever Defined by ENLIGHTENED INDIVIDUAL!!! NOT!!! By Parents or Other Authority EveryBody

        ...💛💚💙...

  • Have to be patient when we fail & have to be patient when we see an extraordinary amount of success because it all matters at the end & being disciplined is what matters because that’s the ulterior motive. How we discipline our habits to get the successes we want in this life.

    • I agree with your points, we should make a balance with our feelings and should not get too excited when we succeed and not too feel bad when ee failed.
      Thank you for your valuable review.

      • I agree, i see that we both blog about similar things, would love to connect with you. Have a good day.

          • Thank you for your consideration, but we only accept the unpublished post. Our team has visited the link you provided and it seems it has already published on your website. So, unfortunately, we can't publish it for now. Hope you understand.

            Have a wonderful day!

            Thank you.

  • Patience and serenity are twin Gifts from God for a Christian but life continues to teach us all. Accepting what we cannot change is the beginning. Changing what we can is a choice we must make. Then having the wisdom to rest in the moment of surrender. brings Peace in Patience
    I learnt this lesson very powerfully only yesterday. I had to have fluid drained from a wound after an operation. This was expected to be final and over quickly. I had thoughts of lunch and going to the park but......I began to bleed.
    The doctor gave me a compression pad and told me to sit and wait for his return. He went away. I sat in an isolated room and held on. Time went on and on. I found out later the doctor had got caught up in a crisis and forgot about me. I Held on.
    I became frustrated and angry I sensed my heart was racing and blood kept flowing.
    I chose to breathe deeply and settle my thoughts. I chose to lie down on a bed in the room and held on.
    Serenity and patience came in that moment and although another hour passed before the doctor returned I was peaceful the problem had been sorted. And finally I could go home. I really had no physical choice I was trapped. But spiritually and mentally I found supernatural freedom to soar.
    Your post is great and thought provoking, Thank you.

    • It's good to hear that you have recovered soon. Patience is the best medicine for anything to be cure. When we lack patience, we lack confidence also and ultimately everything seems to be going wrong in our life.
      If we want to do something big in our life so we have to be patient and believe in the flow of God.
      Thank you Faye for visiting the post and sharing your story. it completely resonates with the post.
      God bless you.

  • Many younger people experience FOMO - they lead comparatively privileged lives where parents seek to give children everything they didn't. As a consequence, they do not experience delayed gratification and little patience. They are constantly amused and entertained by their smart phones. Look at anyone waiting in a queue. Do they contemplate the world around them, wait patiently, or pull out their phone and scroll through social media?
    Constant stimulation does not allow them to develop coping strategies for boredom, fomo, or social difficulties. I think they lose hope so quickly and don't have many problem solving skills.
    There are calls to try to teach these in schools. The senior citizens have great coping skills - something that living life's experiences teaches them. In their personal despair they do not grow or evolve, they simply distract themselves from the pain of failure, or difficulty by looking at their phone.....

    • Indeed, In the current world, social media is the major cause of distraction and a result of failure. Our elders teach us to be polite with the situation because they know that taking the stress unnecessary will reduce our productivity of ourselves.
      Thank you for your review ❣

      • I do think smart devices reduce productivity, as there are an incredible distraction from concentrated effort. I am thankful I grew up in a world without devices. I think for those who have to work on social skills, phones can be a double edged sword, preventing development of skills but also smoothing the way.

        • Exactly, my concern is the same. It might not prevent productivity for some, but it’s true that these devices are distractions in the first place itself. That scrolling habit has put our patience to test. There can be whole another discussion about this double-edged sword.

          • Indeed. Let's discuss this more. What effects does this have on the minds of young people who have not experienced an internet driven world?

          • Well in this modern world it's hard to assume that someone has not experienced the Internet yet. But those who havent used it, we can say they might be lacking the facilities which are making our life easier. The good thing we can see in these people is that they looked more focused and dedicated to accomplishing the goal. But still, we can say that the comfort provided by the Internet has grabbed us into his trap. I would also like to know your opinion also on the same topic. What do you think?

          • Internet addiction is a real thing and why - just like the advent of television it has changed the way we live our lives and oftentimes the way we spend our evenings. Society quickly accepted the advent of television more so than the internet as the television was not so intrusive and did not provide the level of choice or entertainment options that are available on the internet. No longer are we tied to the desktop computer either. We can walk around anywhere with internet reception and sit passively being entertainedby our devices. I think it will make us as a species, lazier and less pro-active, albeit more informed. We are fast becoming used to be passive and entertained, never thinking how to inititate something or entertain ourselves. A moment of conversation lull, or boredom and people gravitate to look at their phones. They can not tolerate quiet or nothingness anymore, unless it is in a meditation or yoga class or on the psychiatrist couch! The long term effects of this I think will result in more incidence of ADD in young people, mental illness and dissatisfaction in general. However, the internet has also reduced isolation and loneliness to a great extent and has to be acknowledged. It has facilitated communication and made it extremely fast. We are not waiting weeks for a letter in the mail now! Elderly people are not stuck at home without talking to anyone. It has advantages but as you say, it is a trap. There will parts of the population that can resist this and others that can't.

          • Indeed, it has pros and cons both. But today we cannot deny that we can live without the Internet. As you said it has made our communication so easier and reduces isolation and loneliness, also I want to add it has made the payment transfer easier and safest. Overall we can say that If someone use the Internet wisely then it's a great thing for themselves but if someone just scrolling his life on the internet. Life is going to test his patience in the future.

  • A great read...I always love reading your wisdom. I admit I am extremely patient and it has served me well. And that said, you are right. Nothing just magically appears to gift you patience. It is learned..and earned. I loved the Marshmallow experiment. I heard that one other time in a training but with money in a way to teach kids how to save. I thought it was great. Hope you have had a good week. Donna

    • Thank you for your kind words, Donna, yes patience is a necessary element in our life for everythingwe do. It is a master key that opens lots of doors for us which helps us to accomplish the goal. I also like the marshmallows experiment it is more practical and we can learn a lot from it.

  • I know that patience is a virtue, Depak, but sometimes I struggle with achieving it! :) Your post may give me some needed motivation! :)

    • It's my honor that this post is useful to you. Hope you will achieve the thing you want to.
      Thank you for your appreciation 😊

    • Thanks, Stacey. Sorry for this late reply.
      "Can’t “like” anymore on your site", I've checked several times but didn't find anything that is causing this issue for you. Anyway, you commented, and that's enough for us.
      Have a wonderful day!

    • Thanks! Glad you liked it.
      There are other interesting blogs on our platform. Hope you'll like them too.

      Have a great week ahead!

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